Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize