Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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