everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
