love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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