She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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