I just threw up on my dentist
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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