so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
