I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
