Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
