"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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