I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
