I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
