He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
