She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
