I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
