there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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