i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
