Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
