Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
