well you can't waste a boner
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
