if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
