My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
