You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
