can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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