why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
