in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
