she looked like the before picture.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
