so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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