And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
