Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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