last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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