My friends, they love my intelligence
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
