with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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