Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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