Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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