There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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