walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
