biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
