We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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