Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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