also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
