I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize