its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think a kid would responsible me up
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
