i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
