he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
