I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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