I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
