Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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