Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
