You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
