All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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