WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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