break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
