he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
