I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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