He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
