Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
