This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
