Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm like, not good at living.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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