I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i was born a porn star she said
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
